Sunday, February 24, 2013

Michigan fraternity suspended for semi-nude photos

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Earlier this week, the University of Michigan Pi Kappa Alpha chapter was suspended from its fraternity when its brothers sent semi-nude photos of themselves to a sorority as a party invitation.

And here's the invitation, in all its American-flagged, muscle-bound glory:

The suspension came shortly after published the pictures last Friday, which were taken and sent to sorority Alpha Phi.

The chapter's president, 19-year-old Ryan Lee, told the Detroit Free Press that the photos and email were never meant for the public eye -- only the sorority girls. Instead, everyone on the Internet got to read the invitation, which started like this:

Subject: Cute Puppies, Organic Gourmet, High Fashion, and How to Make Him Eat Your Box (aka URGENT!!!!)
Do you love your homeland? We at Pike sure do. We read Whitman's poems by our fireplace and pour maple syrup on our apple pie. We hold Alexander Hamilton's belief that keg stands are not "a feat, but an expectation." We recognize His benevolence in bestowing upon us His great and Holy game of Football, and one of our sophomores drives a pick-up truck. We exercise our 4th amendment right to drink beer through any orifice we want. We paddle pledges because it's a comprehensive upper body workout. We invoke imagery of James Madison to describe particularly attractive females. And because the effort to throw our parties is entirely our own, we see to it that the grand majority of our peers remain uninvited, and presumably underemployed with little to no health benefits.
What is America? America is a place where drinking until you puke means drinking until you win. America invented the blunt. And LSD. America is disregarding next week's midterms because Kamchatka doesn't drink itself. America does not let the bartender cut her off. America. America is the love child of 2 Chainz, Kate Upton, and Tim Tebow. America is the Doritos Locos taco and Mountain Dew Baja Blast. America is John Wayne and Ice Cube and Ronald Reagan and Andrew Carnegie. America. America is the Louisiana Purchase and defending The Alamo. America gave the world Hostess and then pioneered the capital management metrics which shut that shit down. America is losing legs in 'Nam and hazing terrorists in Abu Gharib. America invented the condom, and promptly outlawed it. America.
If the preceding two paragraphs didn't excite you at all, I suggest that you stay alert for a forthcoming drone attack, you terrorist whore. If, however, you count yourself a red-blooded, God-fearing American girl who has a specific spring-time gym routine to accommodate her summer-time jean shorts, come to Pike this Friday night around 10:00. (Be fashionably late. That’s America.) Wear your most patriotic threads as we celebrate this great country together.
Need some outfit ideas? A few of us created an inspirational piece with some possible suggestions. Trim fingernails before viewing.
Redistribution prohibited without expressed written consent of WangTown Photography, LLC. (Copyright 2013)
Through the night with a light from above,
Pike Social


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